Five on Friday

  1.  I think I overdid the gym last week and so this week my ankle has been giving me some trouble and then I had a bad cramp in my hamstring so now I’m hobbling from that pull. It seems better today and I know, from experience, this too shall pass. In the meantime, I only walked a mile this morning and very slow at that. Hopefully, it’ll be better for Santa Barbara next week.   I love walking on the beach trail right by the ocean. The weather looks nice but not as warm as I was hoping for.
  2.          Late next week I go for my 6-week labs. There’s always a little anxiety. I think once a cancer patient, going for labs or any tests just brings up past emotions.  I am way better than when I first was diagnosed and would have meltdowns. Now I just think about it some and don’t dwell on it. I’m sure, if I was back in the thick of treatment, it’d be different.
  3. Finished out taxes with Turbo tax and surprisingly we’re getting a small refund. I would have been happy to break even but those Goodwill etc donations do add up.
  4. Finished paying for my son’s full time semester at CSU Sacramento. We put it on a card to get the reward points. I’ll pay it off next month. He’s doing very well and started a new paid internship.  Traveling to Sac State is costing him quite a bit more in gas and food so his money is going there.
  5.  Made a new recipe from one of the cookbooks I bought for a dollar. It is Cooks Illustrated best Skillet recipes. This one was pasta with peas and prosciutto. I had one last pack of prosciutto in the freezer that B got as a sample. You don’t cook the pasta first but do it in the skillet. My son LOVED it and requested it as a rotating dish.

So today I’m going to the gym and just do some upper body weights and then to Tractor Supply store as last week I saw a T-shirt I liked that was inexpensive and made in Viet Nam so hopefully isn’t made in a bad factory.

I don’t need anything from the store so that’s nice.

Dinner is homemade pizza!!

Very bad news :(

My sister is in the hospital recovering from a surgery where they removed part of her lung for lung cancer. They thought it was isolated in a nodule but the pathology just came back and its small cell carcinoma. Not good.

Her family is devastated as is her husband and me as well as my brother.

I’m looking into flights to Connecticut for March maybe April but probably sooner than later.

She has come out to visit me every year since my SCT in 2006. This is terminal for her even with chemo. And she can’t have the chemo till the surgery wounds heal and then it may be too late.

You just don’t know what life is going to throw at you so Live each day fully and lovingly.

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15th of December

Five things I learned from Chemotherapy.

Some things you just wish you didn’t ever have to go thru and Chemotherapy is certainly one of them.

But you don’t have a choice if you’re faced with cancer. Well, you do have a choice not to go thru chemo but more than likely it will end in death. Of course, there’s no guarantee even with chemotherapy but the odds are better.  But generally, with today’s amazing drugs the odds are pretty good.

so,

  1. Your world gets smaller. You really just don’t go out as much. Partly because you feel lousy but also you want to avoid crowds, germs etc. I remember sitting in the car while my husband would go into the store for a few things and I would look around at all the people coming an going and thought, “wow”, “it’s all so ‘normal’ for them.”
  2. You realize that most things aren’t that important. So you ran out of eggs, figure out something else to eat then. Oatmeal? Just an example.
  3. Time slows down and you just drift from appointment to appointment. Time definitely was different. I didn’t keep a schedule as such and it wasn’t till I found FlyLady that I started my routines.
  4. Normal things become a big deal, like taking a shower, or getting out of bed. It wasn’t till a year and a half after my SCT, that I realized, I wanted to be normal again. I am forever grateful to A.L that hired me as a Library helper and equally profoundly saddened that S. S., ended that 8 years later by not stepping up to the plate to library administration.  But life moves on.
  5. Your relationship to food, money, life, shifts and you realize life is just a fleeting moment and You learn to live in the Present. Even after being a meditator for 35 years, living in the moment with cancer taught me more, than all those years combined.  You just had to be in the moment no matter how you felt.

It’s a strange place to be but then life moves on and you get back into the rhythm of it all when you hit that wonderful moment of remission or for some people and actual cure.

Today was a gym day,( yes, I love routine).

Dinner is homemade pizza.image